I just finished the new Netflix original series Daredevil because this is who I am now.
While watching, I also did things like laundry and Candy Crush and Tumblr and snacks and only paying partial attention and asking “who’s that?” and “what’s going on?” every 5 minutes because I am a product of my generation. LOVE ME AS I AM.
With that in mind, I’m going to share my thoughts and feelings on the series. Me! A very unqualified source! With typically minimal to no interest in superhero franchises! Sharing her unsolicited opinions! On a series she half-watched! IS THIS THE CONTENT YOU LONG FOR, AMERICA?!
What follows is a compilation of those thoughts and feelings in no particular order. Also, there will be SPOILERS with reckless abandon. Beware. Take heed. Call your loved ones.
1). Matt Murdock gets beat up constantly with guns and ninja stars and only has to occasionally put a tiny Nelly-style bandage on his eyebrow. Meanwhile, Foggy is in the general vicinity of a fight scene and winces in pain for 2 full episodes. Discuss.
2). Murdock is still going to confession. This is just a documentary on the realness of Catholic guilt.
3). I’ve never felt as much ownership and affection over anything as all the characters in this show feel over Hell’s Kitchen.
4). Rainman + Daredevil = $$$ probably?
5). Does everybody need some daddy tissues for their daddy issues?
6). “Misspelling ‘Hanukkah’ is a mistake. Attempt to murder is a little something else.” WHAT A LINE, FOGGY. I want to know what the alternate options for this pièce de résistance were…
- “Buying reduced-fat cheese is a mistake. Attempt to murder is a little something else.”
- “Trying to ride a unicycle to work despite not owning a unicycle is a mistake. Attempt to murder is a little something else.”
- “Thinking you can fart undetected in an elevator ride with a bloodhound is a mistake. Attempt to murder is a little something else.”
- “Robert Durst confessing to murder on an unknowingly hot mic was a mistake. Attempt to murder is a little something else.”
7). Very cool that when someone uses a complicated, colloquial turn of phrase with someone who doesn’t speak English, there is a knowing nod like, “Oh, yes. I definitely get what you mean by ‘pigs feet on a Sunday.’ Nothing lost in translation there.” But then, no one can figure out how to communicate words like “staircase” or “murder.”
8). WAIT. Fisk is Detective Goren from Law and Order: Criminal Intent? How can one man look so different just by having no hair? How can I know for sure that shaving my head won’t make ME become a supervillain?! Are you there, Sinead? It’s me, Mia.
9). Courteney Cox spells her name COURTENEY??? This has no relevance to Daredevil, but it is #important.
10). I initially found it a bit ridiculous that nobody could recognize Murdock in his disguise, or lack thereof.
Hero is blind but heightened senses allow him to hear sounds across an entire city? Sure. Hero’s senses are so heightened he knows the exact amount of nails in a box just by being in the same warehouse as it? Why not. Hero is completely unrecognizable to everyone he knows because he pulled a do-rag down to his nose? NEVER.
But after some deliberation, I realized he may not be as poorly disguised as I assumed. See if you can guess which celebrity is behind each of these black Daredevil masks.
Let’s start with an easy one.
I’ll give you a hint: He may or may not have been created by Hollywood overlords in order to destroy middle-aged women’s panties.
Why it’s everyone’s favorite hunk-o-matic, Channing Tatum!
Let’s try another.
If you’re thinking “90s sitcoms that are soon-to-be revived,” then you got it, dude!
That’s right…It’s Mary Kate Olsen! Told you this was tricky. So tricky, in fact, that you didn’t even realize that this is actually Ashley Olsen. You know nothing, Kimmy Gibbler.
And for our final round, here’s one for all you Potterheads!
Which wizard is this? Is it Ron Weasley? Maybe it’s Draco Malfoy? Could it be Harry himself?
WRONG. It’s Hermione with Steve Buscemi’s eyes.
11). What is the “avocados at law” story??!?!?! WHAT A CLIFFHANGER.
What thoughts and feelings did you have about Daredevil? Did it make you want to watch the Ben Affleck movie adaptation as much as it made me want to? Remember when he dated Jennifer Lopez? Cool how’s she’s relevant again, right?