May is coming to an end, and we’re almost halfway through 2015. And I’ve apparently come to a point in my life where I earnestly say things like, “Can you believe May is almost over? Crazy!” I am the queen of observation, and you are all my dragons.
Here are things from this month I’ve enjoyed consuming in various forms that I have shat out in list-form for you to now enjoy. It’s a human centipede of enjoyment.
Having Wisdom Teeth
I got my wisdom teeth out last week. That is not one of my May favorites. It’s one of my May things-I-did-that-I-should-have-done-a-while-ago. Clipping my toe nails is also on that list.
I’m just getting to the point where I can eat solid-ish foods without drooling or feeling pain, but I now have to “irrigate the holes” where my teeth used to be. Well, if irrigation is good enough for Mesopotamia, it’s good enough for my mouth holes.
I miss crunchy foods. My favorite foods are all the crunchy ones. More on that later.
Here’s an obligatory video of me immediately post-surgery. Your guess is as good as mine.
These Words I Made Up While On Pain Killers
Here are the entire contents of a Google doc I created a few hours after getting my wisdom teeth removed and while feeling fancy free on various pain killers.
I had the sense to properly title the document “Wisdom Teeth,” and then proceeded to impart lots of wisdom including these 7 words I decided to gift to the English (???) language: moosh, gloof, snorch, meech, lort, fleech, henk.
None of the words had the squiggly red “NO WRONG NOT A WORD” line under them*, which apparently blew my mind enough to stop writing entirely.
*Update for High Mia: They have a squiggly red line under them now. They are not real words. No “did unlock secret vocabulary.” Also, gnocchi is not crunchy? Not sure where you were going with that. Anyway, you may now go back to watching the rest of Cutthroat Kitchen.
Listen. I know. I’m upset about it, too. But I watched all 6 episodes of this on Netflix last night because it was fun and mindless and cheeky, which is a cute British way to say that there are butts in it. I recommend it to you if you are someone who wants to take recommendations from a person who also watched an episode of The Bachelorette for the first time this week and didn’t hate it and maybe even liked it a little bit.
This is technically from April, but everybody can just calm down because who cares and it’s fine and time is a human construct.
I went to Seattle in April and bought this boat. Its name is Honey Bucket, and we plan to sail many a sea together.
This Vine of Kanye West Talking About “The Fyootch”
I can’t stop watching it. It’s my favorite thing of maybe the past few months. Nothing is better to me than this.
That’s all the things that mattered to me this month, I guess. Oh, I also just ate a hot dog. That’s exciting for me at least.
What are your favorite things this month? Is it the fyootch? Perhaps glorfs? How about fleeches? That’s cool. Have a moosh day!