Hello. These Are My Contributions To The Community Today.

Greetings on this blessed Throwback Thursday. I hope each and every one of you little sweeties is doing great and fine and totally didn’t cry for no reason while playing Candy Crush in the dark.

I want to talk to you tiny wittle babies about my number one top fave thing right now: asking for feedback. In case you haven’t heard of it, asking for feedback is a great way to get a bunch of input you can ignore forever so you never change or grow. Super fun, right?

I’d also love to pretend I’m fostering a sense of community with you fabulous fetuses. So, what would be great at the end of this post is feedback like, “Wow! That sounds perfect!” or “Could you maybe be less smart and hilarious???” or “I bet your hair is very clean and you’ve never cried for no reason while playing Candy Crush in the dark.”

Today, I’ll be pitching a bunch of ideas to you in raw, title-only form. Think of it more like a behind-the-scenes look at what it’s like when I start the writing process, and less like a lazy excuse to post a list of unfinished bullshit and call it content.

Here we go!

  • Ways To Turn Your Man On If He’s An iPhone 6
  • Which Book Genre Should You Pretend To Peruse Before You Destroy This Barnes & Noble Bathroom? A Quiz!
  • 17 Easy Ways To Spruce Up Your Home By Installing A Spiral Staircase
  • Could You Host 20 Seasons Of The Bachelor Without Becoming Sexually Attracted To A Rose?
  • 4 Appendages To Conjoin To Be Closer To Your Mom
  • How Giving Everyone At Least One Boob Could Solve Sexism
  • I Only Swipe Right On Tinder, So Why Do I Still Feel So Alone?
  • Exclusive Interview: Last Wishes From The 11-year-old Jar Of Mustard You’re About To Throw Away
  • 12 Signs You Unknowingly Switched Bodies With A Much Older Woman During A Lightning Storm
  • Can You Identify These 90s Hits Masked Entirely By The Sound of Dial-Up?
  • 12 Food Porn Pics To Keep Open In A Separate Tab While You Look At Actual Porn
  • I Lost 25 lbs In A Month By Only Eating My Left Leg
  • Disney Princesses Reimagined With Jennifer Lawrence’s Shoulders
  • I Exchanged Legs With A Table To See What Life Is Like As Furniture
  • Can You Get Hard From These Close Ups Of A Bald Eagle Or Do You Hate America?

There you have it! 15 titles for things I will probably never write. That was it. That was the whole post. This is the kind of thoughtful commentary you should have come to expect from me by now.

Let me know what you think! Am I the best girl in the whole world and everything I do is flawless and needs no further work or examination? My self-worth relies completely on positive affirmation!

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