Pokemon GO. Is it ruining everything? Is it fixing everything? Is it already a dead trend and why didn’t you post this a month ago, Mia?
I come to you all in my time of need and seek forgiveness and understanding but mostly your attention. I did something dirty and disgusting, and I want you all to stare helplessly at my car crash of a life choice.
A roast featuring my own childhood Halloween costumes for comedy and to be current and not at all because I want you to look at how goddamn precious I was between the ages of 2 and 8.
Move over Uncle Haunches, there’s a new body ideal in town! It’s called Dad Bod and it’s taking over the internet.
Shakespeare. King. Hemingway. Twain. Dickens. Rowling. Read. These are the first seven names that came up when I Googled “most popular writers” just now. Are they popular? Are they writers? Who can really know. The point is they came up in the top of the Google search, and I included them in list-form at theContinue reading “A Collective List of Every Clickbait Headline Ever So Everyone Can Just Stop Now (HURRY AND READ THIS PLZ PLZ PLZPLZPLZ)”
I am not a spontaneous person. I know because I just double checked against this Wikihow guide on how to become a spontaneous teenager. While I myself am not a teenager, I figured who knows spontaneity better than the teens. Guys, being a spontaneous teen is so simple. All you need to do is go fork a yard, hitContinue reading “Schlitting Myself and Being Spontaneous”
TMZ BREAKING NEWS: I don’t have an Instagram. 1) Because I don’t have a smart phone. Note: If anyone wants do a think piece on me being the last 20something to be living sans iPhone, hit me up. I can be reached by email or carrier pigeon or the scent of guacamole. 2) Because I would abuse the privilegeContinue reading “Imaginary Instagram”