It’s Valentine’s Day, and there’s one thing on everyone’s mind: How am I supposed to get horny at a time like this?
Tag Archives: how to
How To Live With A Grease Fire
Before my house inevitably becomes engulfed in flames, I thought I’d share some tips and tricks I’ve been using to live with a grease fire.
A Flowchart Guide: Can I Ask This Person About Their Race?
A quick and helpful guide on when to ask someone about their race.
How To Be 25 (By Someone Who Just Turned 25)
My birthday is today, so let’s talk about me for a goddamn second, okay?
Easy Ways to Keep Cool During Summer
It’s hot and murderous outside. Here are ways to keep cool with things you probably already have in your home.
A Guide to Smelling Less Prejudiced
Tired of the general shit-smell of your garbage-person self? So is everyone around you! But have no fear — the secret to ridding yourself of the offensiveness you radiate is simple.
A Collective List of Every Clickbait Headline Ever So Everyone Can Just Stop Now (HURRY AND READ THIS PLZ PLZ PLZPLZPLZ)
Shakespeare. King. Hemingway. Twain. Dickens. Rowling. Read. These are the first seven names that came up when I Googled “most popular writers” just now. Are they popular? Are they writers? Who can really know. The point is they came up in the top of the Google search, and I included them in list-form at theContinue reading “A Collective List of Every Clickbait Headline Ever So Everyone Can Just Stop Now (HURRY AND READ THIS PLZ PLZ PLZPLZPLZ)”
Peeing with the Door Open
I frequently have dreams in which I am completely naked, sitting on a public toilet, in a stall with no doors. In the dream, there is always the imminent threat of people walking in and seeing me. And after waking, there is always a residual nervous-embarrassment that lingers into the morning. My most persistent fearsContinue reading “Peeing with the Door Open”
