A Compiled List of Collective Nouns
Please Confirm You Are Not A Robot
If the Bees Go Extinct, How Will I Talk to My Child About Sex?
Social Contracts Up for Review
What Will Food Be Like In The Future? (February 12 & 19 2018 issue)
I’m A Guy’s Girl
What Even Is Springtime?
Cheat Codes for Real Life
How to Tell When It’s Comedy
The World Is a Scary Place But I Know How to Fix It
What Is Writing and Does This Count as It?
Literal Writing Exercises, co-written with fellow beefy writer Irving Ruan
What’s Inside My Emotional First Aid-Kit, co-written with emotional support humans Irving Ruan and Avi Steinberg
I Am the Person Who Writes Conflict Into Husband-Wife Home Renovation Shows
Conversation Starters for You and Your Therapist
Recipes to Trick Your Friends Into Thinking You’re a Mildly Put-Together Woman
The Latest In Freelancer Fashion
Greeting Cards for Your Online Trolls
White Friend Confessional
What to Expect When You’re Expecting a Demagogue
Listen, The Only People Who Enjoy Looking At Vacation Photos Are The People Who Took Them
The 13.7 Billion-year History of #Feminists
A Haunted House Inspired By My Actual Fears
Nostalgic Movies and Shows That Haven’t Aged Well: I contributed an ode to “America’s Next Top Model”
New Words To Describe A Male-Dominated World: I contributed some new vocabulary words like “mascochistic” and “male pattern blandness.” Please study. There will be a test on Tuesday.
I’m currently a contributing Lifestyle News writer for Bustle.
You can learn more about that here or read some of my favorite pieces below.
An Ode to Soup, The Most Unfairly Maligned Genre of Food
How Sexist Jokes Normalize Sexist Behavior
How to Covfefe Like A Big, Strong President
How Trump Spent His First Month In Office Versus How I Spent His First Month In Office
In Defense Of Hangovers (March 2020 issue)
All I Want For Christmas Is Boys (for the Belladonna holiday essay collection, edited by human sunshine Rosanna Stevens)
New Startups for Midwesterners (co-written with Midwest sweetie Lillian Stone)
Feminist Gift Ideas from Ivanka Trump
How To Protest So No One Gets Offended Or Even Notices
A Nice Piece of Satire You Can Take Home To Your Parents
Previous editorial intern and contributing writer
Something I made in a fit of boredom